On your nametag...

* Put "Esq." at the end of your name to look important.
* Only put your screen name
* Put somebody else's screen name (we'll never know)
* Just draw a picture of yourself
* Write the URL of your homepage
* Put down the date of your first post
* Write your Coke Card Number
* Use your 'Sockhead number'
* Use your o.g. CRESvention number
* Just color the yin/yang pattern
* Write your C.Y.B.O.R.G. name
* Put your full name, birthdate, favorite color, number of cars, most memorable experience, # of beers you can handle, worst car accident you've been in, favorite song, etc.

Introduce yourself as...

* Alison Hinderliter (watch out for the roses/rare gems/marriage proposals HURLED at you)
* A "Fluff" salesperson
* Gene Starwind
* Jargon Scott (with legless dogs tucked under your arms)
* Olly's hair stylist
* A representitive of 111 Productions
* Tori Amos
* Matt Crocco/Liam Lynch (good luck)
* A craft store employee with a killer discount
* The hand inside the Pets.com dog
* Bob Mackey's soulmate
* A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who once thought they saw Liam Lynch naked in their backyard...(?)

Fitting In

* Wear an entire outfit of socks stapled together

* Claim that everything you own is "Precious Roy Brand"

* Carry around your soapbox!

* Pass out fliers advertising your hate of MTV and eBay SnO sellers

* You've got 3hree convention days, so you can wear you Zorak T-Shirt, your KiTH T-Shirt, and your Moby T-Shirt! ROCK!

* Eat NOTHING but fluffernutters, Altiods, and cereal

* Carry around pages of SnO guitar tabs in your pockets

* ALWAYS have "Top 100" lists of your favorite: bands, albums, movies, 80's cartoons, and snacks

* Wander around muttering hiakus and every once in a while yell "Butter dish" just to see if anyone actually looks up

* Be able to recite all the lyrics to 'Prostitute Laundry' ("just in case!")

According to Ryan

* As love masta Chester always says, keep some cereal in your pockets for the ladies!

* Always wear a homemade sock puppet on your hand, and pretend he's a real person. When you supply the voice for him when you
talk to people, they will think you're a hardcore fan or crazy.

* Paint yourself completely Green, and paint your friend completely white (if your friend is albino, youre already half done!) and walk
around, never using your arms while spouting SnO quotes.

* Only speak in Guh's.

* Create and distribute Dynamite Digums to the masses!

* Bring your archer monkeys!

(credit: Ryan Faillace :)

Did I forget something? E-mail me with *your* convention tips, and I'll add them up here!