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SOCKS 2001
Convention Tips

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Nervous about meeting fellow Sockheads? Don't worry, these tips will make you the most popular sockie at the convention!

(sorry for this big ol' space here, scroll down, please)

On your nametag...

* Put "Esq." at the end of your name to look important.
* Only put your screen name
* Put somebody else's screen name (we'll never know)
* Just draw a picture of yourself
* Write the URL of your homepage
* Put down the date of your first post
* Write your Coke Card Number
* Use your 'Sockhead number'
* Use your o.g. CRESvention number
* Just color the yin/yang pattern
* Write your C.Y.B.O.R.G. name
* Put your full name, birthdate, favorite color, number of cars, most memorable experience, # of beers you can handle, worst car accident you've been in, favorite song, etc.

Introduce yourself as...

* Alison Hinderliter (watch out for the roses/rare gems/marriage proposals HURLED at you)
* A "Fluff" salesperson
* Gene Starwind
* Jargon Scott (with legless dogs tucked under your arms)
* Olly's hair stylist
* A representitive of 111 Productions
* Tori Amos
* Matt Crocco/Liam Lynch (good luck)
* A craft store employee with a killer discount
* The hand inside the Pets.com dog
* Bob Mackey's soulmate
* A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who once thought they saw Liam Lynch naked in their backyard...(?)

Fitting In

* Wear an entire outfit of socks stapled together

* Claim that everything you own is "Precious Roy Brand"

* Carry around your soapbox!

* Pass out fliers advertising your hate of MTV and eBay SnO sellers

* You've got 3hree convention days, so you can wear you Zorak T-Shirt, your KiTH T-Shirt, and your Moby T-Shirt! ROCK!

* Eat NOTHING but fluffernutters, Altiods, and cereal

* Carry around pages of SnO guitar tabs in your pockets

* ALWAYS have "Top 100" lists of your favorite: bands, albums, movies, 80's cartoons, and snacks

* Wander around muttering hiakus and every once in a while yell "Butter dish" just to see if anyone actually looks up

* Be able to recite all the lyrics to 'Prostitute Laundry' ("just in case!")

According to Ryan

* As love masta Chester always says, keep some cereal in your pockets for the ladies!

* Always wear a homemade sock puppet on your hand, and pretend he's a real person. When you supply the voice for him when you
talk to people, they will think you're a hardcore fan or crazy.

* Paint yourself completely Green, and paint your friend completely white (if your friend is albino, youre already half done!) and walk
around, never using your arms while spouting SnO quotes.

* Only speak in Guh's.

* Create and distribute Dynamite Digums to the masses!

* Bring your archer monkeys!

(credit: Ryan Faillace :)

Did I forget something? E-mail me with *your* convention tips, and I'll add them up here!